When there’s a sense that things aren’t working between people, I wonder if I have tried to force it to make things better. I now think this has led to some lacklustre or even negative relationships in my life.

It’s the feeling of being around someone but not really enjoying the company. Just being there because you want something to do but only later realising that the entire experience is deterimental, because the fit between you is just wrong. And it can’t be forced.

While I think opportunities to meet and connect with new people should generally be taken, especially when you’re trying to widen your social circle, I think one of the consequences is that you might just end up meeting more people you lack a sense of connection with. You only meet people who aren’t really bothered to know you, either. And you do things you don’t enjoy out of a sense of obligation.

And to be around people with whom you don’t feel on a level doesn’t help you to be your best. It tends to sap my energy and I might not even be able to think of anything to say. Compare this feeling to when you’re with someone you actually feel a connection with. There is so much to say you fight for the conversational floor and the talk is actually meaningful. You also like more of the same things and time spent together is like an adventure.

I’ve probably clutched onto some deteriorated relationships in the hope that I can force them back into shape. The thing is, I don’t think it works like that. It’s probably better to invest the effort in seeking new connections. This is much harder to do as I my case it involves doing a lot of things on my own. But the good thing about going out on your own is that it is much easier to meet people. You are free to do as you like and people often notice you and approach you.

So here’s to the great purge, making space for new positive relationships.

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